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Getting older but not wiser?


Lann

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So, very off topic.

 

Closing in on 40. Thougths about existential stuff, family, relations, job, living situation is not uncommon.

One self is easier to handle, but significant others a bit different.

 

Even though the main reason for something are these reflections and not a actual need.

Should one give in and act upon it?

 

Pros; If something is beleived to add something it might just do it. 

Cons; Everything rational. We dont have the time to take care of another (summer) house, and I couldnt play GTA there.

 

 

 

Also, have you had and/or acted upon anything like this?

 

 

Excuse my spelling in topic, meant to be "Getting older.."

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Not quiet sure what you're asking about exactly, and everything is always very situational so without other details it's hard to give an accurate response.

I'm only 27 and been having similar thoughts about it all, let's call it my quarter life crises :P the problem with asking other people is that they aren't you and won't have to live with the decisions. Only you can decide if the pros will out weigh the cons, and even then you will never know until you do it. You could talk to other people about specific things you're wanting to do and see how others have handled them and how it worked out.

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Not quiet sure what you're asking about exactly, and everything is always very situational so without other details it's hard to give an accurate response.

I'm only 27 and been having similar thoughts about it all, let's call it my quarter life crises :P the problem with asking other people is that they aren't you and won't have to live with the decisions. Only you can decide if the pros will out weigh the cons, and even then you will never know until you do it. You could talk to other people about specific things you're wanting to do and see how others have handled them and how it worked out.

 

Very true. Big things that changes everyday life is one thing, a difficult one as well.

 

But how about the smaller things, like bying that sportscar or doing whatever your urge tells you.

Have anyone acted out upon something like that, and if so how did that work out?

 

In my case its buying a small summerhouse close to the sea.

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Dude if you're 40 and can afford a summerhouse without breaking the bank (or anything else!) I say go for it! Life is short and we are merely a dot on the spectrum that is matter, energy, space and TIME!

 

I hate the whole YOLO (you only live once) idea people have. Most people think "Oh im gonna kill this beer and go driving #Yolo" when it really should be "nah, Im not gonna drink and drive because #YOLO." Whats the point of living life not enjoying the finer things some of us cant even imagine. Shoot i wish i could own a summer house or for that matter, any house period lol. 

 

Of course im sure buying a summer house is not something to be considered lightly but Id like to believe that one doesnt make it to 40 years old and have the means to be in your situation where buying a summer home is possible without making good decisions. I say you trust yourself and if you feel confident you wont ruin your life by taking this decision i say go for it.

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One day the sadness will end.

 

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Very true. Big things that changes everyday life is one thing, a difficult one as well.

 

But how about the smaller things, like bying that sportscar or doing whatever your urge tells you.

Have anyone acted out upon something like that, and if so how did that work out?

 

In my case its buying a small summerhouse close to the sea.

If buying a sports car is a small thing I want to be you. Lol

In all seriousness my feeling is that life is a competition to have as many moments of happiness you can whilst you draw breath, as long as they don't stop someone else's happiness.

If you have some doubts though, maybe talk to a financial planner for some advice.

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I wouldn't say I've acted on a urge to do something different since 40. But I did decide to start spending some of the money I saved / invested now rather than wait till I retire, on more expensive holidays. I don't want to advise other people, I think you have to decide what's right for yourself. But what me and my wife basically decided was if we're financially secure and have the spare money to do it, then do it now rather than wait.

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I guess the best way to work it out is to think it over a bit for yourself and also discuss it with your close friends and family and those that it will affect. They will suggest other pros and cons that you wouldn't have thought of.

I'm usually bad and give into impulses and have bought things without discussing it with my partner. She got angry over some things mostly cause I didn't talk to her about it first and she had other reasons for me to not do it. I'm also way to stubborn and once I've made up my mind it's hard for me to change it no matter how illogical it seems.

But it's easier to ask for forgiveness then for permission :P

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And it is always worse if you end up buying something after you have been denied permission to buy it. Better to buy now and take the risk :D

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If it doesn't hurt you financially, then I don't see what the big deal is.  As someone in my 30's, I take my financial future very seriously.  I'd love to say I have a vacation home when I'm in my 40's.  However, I'd like it to be a vacation home that doesn't put me in more debt and something we can use frequently.  When we're not using it, I'd rent it out to other people for the extra income.  Torrid & I are getting to the point in life where we're getting rid of all credit cards and making purchases with cash.  Of course we still use credit cards when needed, but not for silly things.  Emergencies do happen.  

 

If you're not going to use the summer house much and find it a pain to maintain it, then it's probably not a smart purchase.  That's just me though.

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Seeing that you're also calling it an urge, it probably isn't really a good idea just yet to go ahead with it (unless you're a secret millionaire).

Ask yourself why you really want it. Will it add value to your life? Do you want to impress friends or family or just because? How much will you actually use it? Depending on your financial situation maybe it could be better spent on nice holiday if you will only use it once or twice a year and e money would almost be the same (except you don't retain/possibly make money on the house)

If you find out exactly why you want it (which is why it helps greatly to talk openly to important poeple to you about it) then you will know if it's worth it.

Good luck!

scottyb1988.jpg

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  • 3 months later...

wheres the pics!? man i was loving this story, the crazy public life sharing, the insights, the perspectives of different age groups, it had it all, and then no frekin pictures, what the hell did u buy, was it a car!? was it a holiday home!? did u kill a man!? what a rubbish ending.

 

Scotty B made the most sense, a random idea could be anything, it could be shaggin ure neighbour's dog (bad idea) or buying sumin extravagent (dont matter, if u can afford it) so there is no answer to the poll.

 

The time its taken to write this, i feel a lot less dissapointed that there's no pictures.

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Lann, I want to live in your summer house please!!! Where in Sweden are you, Stockholmslan or south \ North?? We come visit Sweden every other year and love the Skärgarden. ( typical tourists probably :-) usually get a Stüga by the Sea somewhere hehe. Big Family you have and a great house, congrats!

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Google maps can't find Österlen, I should have guessed from the sandy beach that it's not the Skärgarden ;-) Looks like a great place to chillax with the Family in any case.

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