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Ok I always have liked a good joke. So we don't offend anyone you have to keep them cleaner than locust dirty weed on 4/20. Sorry locust I will surrender like the French on that one. Damn it sorry I don't know what that was aboot.

So I will start little Johnny was setting in class and had to go to the bathroom. He raised his hand the teacher tells him he can speak. Little johnny says he has to go piss. Teacher tells him the proper way to say it is urinate and he can't go to the bathroom until he uses urinate in a sentence.

So he raises his hand again and gets called upon. He stands up and says urinate you would be a ten if you have bigger boobs.

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Since we are doing 'Little Johnny' jokes -- I have to worn you this joke will offend somebody, just dont know who!...



The teacher asked her kindergarden class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"


Little Johnny said: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, taking my best bitch with me... Give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks -- an apartment in Hawaii -- a mansion in Paris -- a jet to travel through Europe -- an Infinite Visa Card, and make love to her three times a day!"...


The teacher shocked, and not knowing what to say with the child's horrific answer, decided to ignore it and continued with the lesson...

... "And Susie, what do you want to be when you grow up?" - the teacher asked.


"I want to be Johnny's bitch!" - was the girl's response...

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"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Andy Dufresne from The Shawshank Redemption...


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this is probably my favorite joke bit of a read but well worth it if you dont know it.


The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by an enemy Indian War Party. 
The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" . 
"In honor of the Harvest Festival, 

YOU will be executed in three days."
"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests" 
"What is your FIRST request ???' 
The Lone Ranger responds, 
"I'd like to speak to my horse." 
The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. 
Later that evening, Silver returns with
a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, 
the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
and spends the night. 

The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed.. 
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days." 
"What is your SECOND request ???"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
to his horse.
Silver is brought to him,
and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise,
Silver again returns, this time with a
voluptuous brunette, more attractive
than the blonde. 

She enters the Lone Rangers tent
and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief
is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"
"But I will still kill you tomorrow." 
"What is your LAST request ???"

The Lone Ranger responds, 
"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone." 
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, 
and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. 
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, 

Looks him square in the eye and says,

Listen Very Carefully !!!!

FOR... THE... LAST... TIME...
I SAID ...

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